Late-Diagnosed ADHD in Women: A Psychologist’s Perspective
Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) has long been perceived as a childhood condition, often associated with hyperactive young boys who struggle to sit still in class. However, this stereotype has contributed to the underdiagnosis of ADHD in females, particularly those who present with inattentive rather than hyperactive symptoms. As a psychologist working with late-diagnosed women with ADHD, I have seen firsthand the relief, grief, and transformation that often accompany this discovery.
The Masking Phenomenon
One of the key reasons women are frequently diagnosed later in life is their ability to mask symptoms. From an early age, girls are often socialised to be compliant, well-behaved, and emotionally attuned to others. As a result, they may develop sophisticated coping mechanisms that allow them to blend in, even while struggling internally with focus, organisation, and emotional regulation.
Many late-diagnosed women describe a persistent sense of underachievement, despite working twice as hard as their peers. They may have been labelled as "daydreamers," "overly sensitive," or "disorganized," but because they managed to perform adequately (or even excel) in school or work, their struggles were overlooked.
The Emotional Toll of Late Diagnosis
A late diagnosis of ADHD often brings a mix of emotions. Many women feel validated upon learning that their lifelong difficulties have a neurological basis. However, this realisation can also be accompanied by grief; grief for the years spent feeling inadequate, for the missed opportunities, and for the self-criticism that was undeserved.
As a psychologist, I work with clients to process these emotions, helping them to reframe their past through the lens of ADHD. Instead of internalising struggles as personal failings, we explore how undiagnosed ADHD shaped their experiences and self-perception.
ADHD in Women: Beyond the Stereotypes
The presentation of ADHD in women can differ significantly from that in men. While hyperactivity in boys often manifests as physical restlessness, in women, it can present as mental hyperactivity (racing thoughts), constant overthinking, and emotional overwhelm. Other common signs include:
Chronic disorganisation and difficulty managing daily responsibilities.
Struggles with time management and procrastination.
Emotional sensitivity and rejection-sensitive dysphoria.
Periods of hyperfocus, where one can become completely engrossed in a task while neglecting others.
Burnout from overcompensating and trying to keep up with neurotypical expectations.
Understanding these symptoms is crucial for accurate diagnosis and effective treatment.
Finding the Right Support
For late-diagnosed women, ADHD management often involves a combination of psychoeducation, therapy, and sometimes medication. Therapy can help in developing executive function strategies, improving self-compassion, and addressing co-occurring conditions like anxiety and depression.
Additionally, creating a lifestyle that aligns with one’s neurodivergence is key. This might include:
Implementing external structures such as planners, timers, and reminders.
Prioritising rest and self-care to prevent burnout.
Seeking accommodations at work or school when necessary.
Connecting with others who share similar experiences.
Embracing Neurodiversity
While a late diagnosis can be challenging, it also opens the door to self-acceptance and a new way of approaching life. Many women find empowerment in understanding their brains and learning to work with, rather than against, their ADHD traits. They are often highly creative, empathetic, and resilient; qualities that, when nurtured, become strengths rather than struggles.
As a psychologist, my goal is to help women with ADHD shift from self-blame to self-awareness, from frustration to empowerment. With the right tools and support, they can rewrite their narrative and thrive in a world that may not always understand them, but in which they can carve out their own path.